She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
