PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
