I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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