I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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