As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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