you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
