There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The feeling are messing with the penis
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
