he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
