I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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