I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
