There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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