lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
