i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
