There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
