found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
