I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
