5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
