also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
