I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
