She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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