No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
