Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
