Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
