Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
