Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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