Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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