First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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