I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We're too hungover to prance.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
