I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
