Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
