Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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