She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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