I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.