I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
