Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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