The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
