its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
