I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
