I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
