i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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