I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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