i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize