So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
