all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
