you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
