How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
