we have officially lost it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
