You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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