and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize