PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
