Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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