no, he came in my armpit
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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