I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
