we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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