I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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