it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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