i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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