But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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