at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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