i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
