my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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