yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We just shotgunned beers for America
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
