guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Is it because I queefed?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
