You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
