Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
