Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
