I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
