I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
