you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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